Saturday, and Under the Weather

The trees are in full bloom today. It was a gray day yesterday, and I didn’t bother to go out and look around our neighborhood but today is dawning sunny. Everywhere is covered in a blanket of pink and white; and this time not because of snow. And I have either a cold or some pretty obnoxious allergies.

I hardly slept last night, waking up every few minutes to gasp in a breath through the Great Phlegm Barrier. When I did manage to sleep awhile, I dreamed about work because nothing is more comfortable than sinking into a repetitive motion dream where I’m required to, but just can’t seem to, wash a whole bunch of dishes.

Anyhow, I survived the night and made a small pot of coffee. I’m the only one awake yet–check that… Seems the bedroom light is on so Judi must have given in to the whims of our huge cat who lays on your face and meows. Really–where’s the fun in that? If I meowed and laid on his face I doubt he’d be willing to give me breakfast.

Bear Strangle
found at

The house needs a good spiffying up. I just don’t really feel up to the time it takes to scrub dishes, vacuum, clean up the secret deposits of cat barf that appeared during the night… did I mention the cat eats pine needles that get tracked in on the bottom of our shoes? Then they poke him in the barfulus major, and he gacks up everything he ate since the last time he found a pine needle.

I guess I’m just not feeling the happies today.

I used to think you couldn’t force happy to occur. I’m still doubtful about my ability to cheer up everyone around me, but somehow that’s become an actual part of my job. The staff’s cheerfulness is directly affected by how I set the tone when I walk in. When I want jovial and friendly people and I walk in like Strangle the  Super Bear, I’m probably not going to get it. On the other hand, if I want a stressed-out angry staff, Ol’ Strangle need do nothing but show up.

Did I tell you that a few months ago, we had a guy show up in our store dressed as a banana? It wasn’t even a holiday where it’s appropriate to dress as a banana. He apparently just really likes bananas. I let somebody else wait on him, giving that coworker the specific instructions “whenever somebody comes to our store dressed as bananas, or apples, or almonds, or any other kind of fruit, you’re in charge of helping that person.” Stroke of genius. You never know when you might be accosted by a giant cranberry.

Last night, after a dinner at a local Mediterranean place, we ran to the grocery store so I could zip in and grab some cold medicine. I walked by a young lady who worked in the store. She was setting up a display table of some kind. I’ve seen her before–her English isn’t very good. So it appalled me when an old man walked up to her and said “Excuse me miss–do you know your way around a man’s nuts?” She stared at him blankly and said “nuts?” He was apparently flustered because his super-smooth come-0n didn’t work so he said, “Yeah, um, I need some chopped walnuts and I can only find these candied walnuts…” What a tool.

Well, that’s about all I have today. Hope y’all folks feel better than I do! Go out and enjoy the springtime, unless you have 30 inches of wet snow (that’s you, Denver).


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