More Soup for You!


OK, we all have our off days, and I can’t claim to be the best customer service representative of any company, ever (that goes to the old guy from the Six Flags commercials) but sir or madam, I would like to register my complaint. I’ve seen a few egregiously bad customer service habits, and I thought you’d enjoy a few of them.

Photoshop Six Flags Dancing Guy.

  • Don’t walk away from me when you’re ringing up my order. if you absolutely have to leave, saying a word to me first would be nice.
  • Don’t insult your own line of products! Don’t make me wonder what the hell is the matter with this place?
  •  I understand the corporate need to upsell items, but if I say I’m not interested once or twice, if you ask three or four more times, I’ll probably start getting annoyed. And, know what? You probably wouldn’t like me when I start getting annoyed.
  • If you make a transaction error (rang it as cash instead of credit, or something) find someone to fix it. Don’t ask me if I have another form of payment to make it right.
  • You could even shoot fireworks out your butt, but if you don’t smile, I probably won’t tip you.
  • Don’t say “How is this my problem?” or “I don’t know what you want me to do about it.” when I’m explaining a situation.
  • I’m more important than the cleaning task you are undertaking. Talk to me first and clean after. Unless, of course the cleaning is on the counter in front of us both.
  • We are all certain your work friends are neato, but I’m only here a couple minutes. Give your attention to me now, and your fellow employees later.
  • My eyes are up here, fella. Not everyone has a rack this awesome, I know, and very few of us are this tall, but you know the rule!
  • I just saw you spit into a garbage can? Really? What’s the matter with you!

Like I said, I’m sure I have peculiarities that annoy customers, but I have a string of regulars who greet me by name, and seem genuinely happy to see me and, I think, I generally enhance their in-store experience and hopefully their life. This stuff isn’t second nature to me either. I work hard to be nice and happy at work, and come home exhausted. Yet, even for the pittance I make, dammit, it’s part of the job! scrape together some goodwill toward your fellow man and at least pretend to be friendly and scrounge up some couth for godsake!

Your customers will thank you for it. Even I will, and I’m not a fan of thanking people.

Now go away. Shoo. Nothing more to see here. And thank you.

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