Over the River and Through the Woods


Here I am at 3PM on my day off, all determined to squat and grunt and squeeze out a blog, whether or not the world wants a new one. And you’re very welcome for the sudden insight onto my brain, and its preadolescent gravitation toward poopoo humor.

I ran yesterday. By “run” I mean I walked. Okay, staggered. BB King was singing “The Thrill is Gone” on my iPod, which seemed somehow appropriate. My persistent waddling brought me all the way to the shores of Lake Anne Village Center, where I took a panoramic photo to prove that I made it the entire half mile.

See? Proof.
See? Proof.

Next, I walked even farther, up the hill, passing the ancient Asian lady who was ascending the hill backwards (backwards? my mind said, alarmed, shaking my mind’s alarmed head in alarm), and to the covered bridge. “Rocket Man” was playing on my iPod, which seemed like as good a reason as any to turn around. I think it’s gonna be a long long time, Elton sang. You have no friggin clue, Sir Elton. Or is it sir John? Anyway.

It was cold. I was protected by my coat, hood up, gloves on, yet I was still cold when I made it home, having traveled 1.67 miles in a half hour and having narrowly beaten Brian Wilson from whining the last lines of “Caroline No.”

It’s my first walk (or run) of the year and if you are even moderately good at reading between the lines, you’ll notice that I’m pretty out of shape. Still, I felt a grim thrill at beating the old backwards-walking woman down the hill. Take that, you Geriatrics!

Then sweaty Brian shaved and prepared for work, which went uneventfully except for hearing, on my drive in, that we were expecting snow overnight.

What? It was cold outside. My face froze that way.
What? It was cold outside. My face froze that way.

Well, folks, work started at 1 and the snow started by 2. By the end of my shift, the coffee shop was silent, except for my other employee, and had been so for nearly an hour. I made it home in good time. with about 2 inches of snow covering anything dumb enough to stand around outside.

First snow of 2014. I'm not running in this.
First snow of 2014. I’m not running in this.

So, January Second, O Introductory Snow, Why Dost Thou Hinder Me So? Just Leave Me And Go, January Second’s Snow.

A crappy couplet for people who thought they liked my poetry.

So, today I’ve managed to:

  1. Wake up and put on pants.
  2. Watch the cat panic about the dastardly marauding snow sparrows on our patio
  3. Drink a cuppa coffee
  4. Take the garbage up to the Place-of-Garbage, upstairs.
  5. Fall asleep and nap for an hour.
  6. Wake up and stagger to the couch, where I fell asleep again.

The original purpose of this blog was to announce to the universe that I was going to begin my regimen of running, and culminate my reintroduction to the exercise universe by participation in the May 5 March of Dimes 5K. I was gonna do it with style, flair, and maybe a photograph of me in running clothes. It’s still a blog, but a much more boring one. It’s also mercifully lacking a photo of me in sweats. I’m still aiming toward that running goal; in fact I even signed up for a couch-to-5k training program on my Nike running tracker. I’ll just not do any of that today because, hey, snow poked its metaphorical finger in my allegorical jogging eye.

So here I sit, blog mostly squeezed out, wishing you a happy day-after-the-day-after New Year’s Day. Blessings, all. Don’t let the weather hamper your resolve. If  can get out of bed (twice) anybody can!

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