I’ve often wondered why I tried studying no less than 15 languages, and only 2 of them well?

Ever wonder why I have about 24 unfinished short stories, but only one finished one?

I’ve got a closet full of unfinished crochet projects (although I finish my fair share).

I decided that, after years of being told I never follow through with anything, that it’s a blessing in disguise. Life is a smorgasbord, my friends (to tweak the title of a song from Cabaret just a bit). Try a little 3-bean salad. No rules say you have to eat a whole plateful.

When I was young, I used to get that a lot.  I suppose if such a thing were diagnosed in the 1970s, they’d have called it Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Once, my mom said that “you had a lot of things on your mind… all at once.” For those who have taken the Meiers-Briggs (or the Kiersey Temperament) tests, I’m an INFP, which is meaningless, except for the bit that says “P”–P means I jump spontaneously from one thing to another, and that structuring things around time isn’t all that important to me.

In other words, I drive people nuts.

For years, I saw it as something awful.  The nagging feeling at the back of my head was “why bother? you’ll never finish that crossword puzzle anyway. You never follow through with anything.” I recently realized that I’d edit my speech–I purposely would NOT tell people my plans and dreams and thoughts, because I didn’t want them to think of me as a quitter if they didn’t come to fruition.

So, here are the jobs I’ve applied to recently:

Knowledge Manager at Information International Associates. It’s a fancy word for “librarian” mostly. IIA contracts to the CIA, and other governmental agencies. I’d need high security and a background clearance if I landed the job so basically, I’d be CIA’s bitch for an extended period.

Librarian for National Archives. The job I’ve applied to would design a program for the cataloging and classification of materials in Hebrew. I have a rudimentary command of Hebrew, which I dust off for God and all the Jews to laugh at about once every 2 or 3 years. This job would give me a reason to finally become more than casually conversant with a 5,000 year old language, and might be a stepping stone to other jobs or languages (yes, I’ve thought of learning other semitic languages, like Arabic and Amharic before, too).

Electronics Librarian at Georgetown. I wouldn’t catalog electronics. I would instruct students and faculty in the use of electronic library services. Not at the top of my list, but I wouldn’t sneer at it.

I keep telling myself not to get too excited about any of this, that it’s just a phase, and I probably won’t get interviewed, much less hired, by any of these folks, but that’s just my history talking. That stupid voice again, whining me down. Well, this  blog exists if for no other reason than to share with others my thoughts, even my extraneous or silly ones, and especially my dreams and hopes and desires.

We’ll just have to see how the jobs go. I know (most of the time) where the blog is going. Wish me luck, or anoint me with ketchup, or pray for me, or whatever your religion allows you to do. I could use it right now.


5 thoughts on “Smorgasbord”

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