Endings and Beginnings [Susan Isham]


Leaf Detail
The detail of a leaf

I like change.  I like things to morph and evolve and grow.  What I don’t like is when things stay unendingly the same.  Friendships, the weather, my wardrobe – no! I am restless and bored easily.  I used to tease my California friends about the weather in Scotts Valley, where I went to college.  It was always sunny (or foggy).  You had to go outside and feel the air to discern the season. I knew I could never live there because it’s too mundane for me.  Too much of the same thing makes me crazy.

Yet, goodbyes are hard.  This week my kids will go back to school, or to school, as in my daughter’s case.  I am already a bit weepy contemplating an empty house even as I think, “It’ll stay clean!  I won’t find sweatshirts and shoes everywhere!”  And yes, I’m even considering a deep clean, including the carpets.  What’s wrong with me?! Have I become *that* mom?! I think my heart is considering all the options, good and bad, with this transition.

When I quit my full-time job at Aspen to have my daughter and homeschool my son (yes, I am a type-A personality), it was hard to say goodbye to those good people.  I would never give Will a bad time about his messy office or joke with Aaron, who became like a brother from another mother to me.  I would not be hit up for spare change 7 times in a one-block radius.  I would no longer have the hipster status of working in downtown Portland, kitty-corner to Pioneer Courthouse Square and all its doings. And no more public transportation, with all its slice of life interactions.

But it’s not just me going through change.  Jonathon is home now from his job.  The contract his company had with the army base ended August 31.  He’s home now until he finds another one.  There’s another change.  It’s great having him home but now there are two bosses in the house and we’ll have to adjust and work together in this new reality.

Nobody died, we didn’t move or endure a divorce.  It’s a new season for us and the calendar will soon reflect that as well.  Bring it!

–SEI

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