Introvert or misanthrope?


I may have been projecting an aura of misanthropic pessimism in some of my posts, but my intent isn’t that way. I have often wondered if I am Jack Nicholson in As Good as It Gets but the fact remains: I need people. “I am a rock,” declare the Paul Simon lyrics. “I am an island. And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.” I may not know much about myself, but I know I’m not that guy.

But I like being alone. I recharge the batteries of my soul in those times. There’s a kind of gentle solace in being alone that allows me to refocus, and reflect and to accept events. My passions aren’t shallow, as I sit and think exquisitely rude thoughts toward my fellow human beings. But I love deeply: more than people would believe unless they talked with me awhile. I want to know what makes people behave: even the minister who blithely advised me with the wrong words. There has to be a reason he leaned so passionately into God. Maybe he was having marital troubles. Maybe his child was chronically sick. People don’t just one day become an ass: there’s an accrual of events that lead to layering of assish tendencies. A really good douchebag takes years to produce. If I can just allow myself to walk a mile in his/her ass-shoes, maybe I won’t be so quick to judge his sorry ass. That sort of reflection, I hope, saves me from a future pain-in-the-ass. But I do it quietly, in my down time.

The purpose of this blog is twofold: first, I want a legacy of sorts for my sons to hold onto, years later, when they’re showing their children what grandpa was like. It’s just enough of a footprint that I feel, in this digital age, they might have a randomly skewed perspective of ol’ lumpy granddad, if they ever feel like reading the thoughts I put down here.  A second reason is the desire to share my thoughts with a wider audience. To be honest, I think a lot. Some of those thoughts are not of themselves all that brilliant, but I have them anyhow. I surely won’t speak them from a pulpit. Maybe my travails and reflections might help somebody else. I don’t know. I’m not a judge of such things. I just write them and cross my fingers that I’m not adding more pain into an already-painful world. Thanks so much for reading. I mean that.

Signed,

An Introvert.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Introvert or misanthrope?”

  1. “People don’t just one day become an ass: there’s an accrual of events that lead to layering of assish tendencies. A really good douchebag takes years to produce. If I can just allow myself to walk a mile in his/her ass-shoes, maybe I won’t be so quick to judge his sorry ass. ”

    …still literally laughing out loud!!!!

    Reason #623 of why I love you so very much!!! Who could say this better?!?!!? And despite the hilarity of these statements, what stands out even more is the sweet truth of who you are …and it always amazes me. I’m so blessed to call you friend!

    Like

  2. I didn’t *think* I was an introvert, but I do a lot of that ‘me-time’ processing, too…you have a way of expressing things (pardon the cliche) in a nutshell. It is refreshing to read your thoughts!

    Like

  3. Brian-

    From one introvert to another – love ya, man.

    And, while I would never send you to a place I would not go, I will bow my head and ask the universe to send more people to the pulpit who would willingly speak the words of truth, compassion and grace which flow freely through your words. Heaven, and the keeper thereof, surely must know that they are needed.

    Peace ~ Melissa

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s